Monday, October 23, 2006
God's will
Some days never seem to end. Other days go by so quickly we wish they would never end. It seems that most days in life God’s plan for us is not the plan we have in our head for ourselves.
God has shown me over and over that seeking Him in all times, in all ways will bring more joy to my life than in waiting for the things I believe I deserve.
Psalm
13 Rise up, O LORD, confront them, bring them down; rescue me from the wicked by your sword.
14 O LORD, by your hand save me from such men, from men of this world whose reward is in this life. You still the hunger of those you cherish; their sons have plenty, and they store up wealth for their children.
15 And I—in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.
God has taken me through much and has much for me struggle through. In all these times, He is faithful to show mercies to me along the path. In our weakness, in our oppression, in our adversity, in our affliction, He does not leave us to ourselves, but His mercies are there all along.
Some days it seems the humbling comes before the feeling that we are really getting somewhere. This is something I’ve learned the last few weeks. It seems we can be blind to who God calls us to be, we can walk around feeling like we’re in the dark, waiting for God’ rescue. Calling out for His help, as if He’s not right at hand.
1 Peter 5:6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Matthew Henry commented on Job 35 saying: "We have no reason to complain if we have not what we expect, but we should be thankful that we have better than we deserve." In our affliction, we need to not dwell on the greatness of our suffering, but the greatness of the mercy of God. We do not notice the mercies we enjoy under our affliction, and we aren't thankful for them, so we aren't properly humbled.
I am feeling much better physically. My doctor told me to take 2 more weeks off. I think 1 will be enough at this point. I'm too bored sitting at home, and I am only getting 2/3 pay while I'm off, so I will take one more week to rest my inflamed organs, then I will go back.
I am frightened to go back. I will more than likely be punished for being away. God has really been speaking to my heart while I've been off. I guess it's when we're on our backs that we finally see Him.
IN my frustration with my job, it seems that "getting a new job" is the only option. As much as I agree and would love to up and do that, honestly, I do not know what I want to apply for. I can do any office job, I'm sure. I have experience, I can purchase anywhere, but the thought of it confuses me and doesn't make me satisfied.
SO - God has been telling me that he's going to call me to change, to take a giant leap of faith. He keeps telling me, He has always taken care of me, He has always provided. I'm scared out of my tree! I have been wanting to get into the medical field in some aspect for years. SO, I found a course I want to take, found a job I know I can do.
BUT - it means I have to get accepted in a limited program AND quit my job to go to school FULL time for 33 weeks. YEESH! Why didn't I do this 10 years ago? I guess now we'll see if the words that God has been speaking mean this. It's easy for me to think this is it, but God will be proving it over the next eleven months.
We will need about $7000 to get me through school, and I'll have to find an evening & weekend job through school in order to make sure we survive. I will have to stay with Bakemark until September when the course starts, so it's going to be a long year and a half, if this is what God is willing for us. And, of course, I have to be at Bakemark as if I'm NOT leaving, they cannot know. Without my current wages, Denny & I won't be able to save up to pay for school.
I am excited about it - and I hope that God allows it to happen, but whatever happens, I know He will take care of us.
And another thing I've learned - my husband was created for me! He is SO supportive and his heart is so huge. He wants nothing more than for me to be happy and in God's will. A decision like the one we've made is hard enough to make for one person, but this will now affect my husband and our first two years of marriage. But, his heart is set on what God wants and he's willing to support me in this, no matter what it means we have to sacrafice. It's so unreal that I have married the perfect man for me. It is far better than I could have imagined. I love him with all my heart and I know that I can do all things because Christ is in me and Christ can do all things, and I have a wonderful husband standing beside me!
God has shown me over and over that seeking Him in all times, in all ways will bring more joy to my life than in waiting for the things I believe I deserve.
Psalm
13 Rise up, O LORD, confront them, bring them down; rescue me from the wicked by your sword.
14 O LORD, by your hand save me from such men, from men of this world whose reward is in this life. You still the hunger of those you cherish; their sons have plenty, and they store up wealth for their children.
15 And I—in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.
God has taken me through much and has much for me struggle through. In all these times, He is faithful to show mercies to me along the path. In our weakness, in our oppression, in our adversity, in our affliction, He does not leave us to ourselves, but His mercies are there all along.
Some days it seems the humbling comes before the feeling that we are really getting somewhere. This is something I’ve learned the last few weeks. It seems we can be blind to who God calls us to be, we can walk around feeling like we’re in the dark, waiting for God’ rescue. Calling out for His help, as if He’s not right at hand.
1 Peter 5:6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Matthew Henry commented on Job 35 saying: "We have no reason to complain if we have not what we expect, but we should be thankful that we have better than we deserve." In our affliction, we need to not dwell on the greatness of our suffering, but the greatness of the mercy of God. We do not notice the mercies we enjoy under our affliction, and we aren't thankful for them, so we aren't properly humbled.
I am feeling much better physically. My doctor told me to take 2 more weeks off. I think 1 will be enough at this point. I'm too bored sitting at home, and I am only getting 2/3 pay while I'm off, so I will take one more week to rest my inflamed organs, then I will go back.
I am frightened to go back. I will more than likely be punished for being away. God has really been speaking to my heart while I've been off. I guess it's when we're on our backs that we finally see Him.
IN my frustration with my job, it seems that "getting a new job" is the only option. As much as I agree and would love to up and do that, honestly, I do not know what I want to apply for. I can do any office job, I'm sure. I have experience, I can purchase anywhere, but the thought of it confuses me and doesn't make me satisfied.
SO - God has been telling me that he's going to call me to change, to take a giant leap of faith. He keeps telling me, He has always taken care of me, He has always provided. I'm scared out of my tree! I have been wanting to get into the medical field in some aspect for years. SO, I found a course I want to take, found a job I know I can do.
BUT - it means I have to get accepted in a limited program AND quit my job to go to school FULL time for 33 weeks. YEESH! Why didn't I do this 10 years ago? I guess now we'll see if the words that God has been speaking mean this. It's easy for me to think this is it, but God will be proving it over the next eleven months.
We will need about $7000 to get me through school, and I'll have to find an evening & weekend job through school in order to make sure we survive. I will have to stay with Bakemark until September when the course starts, so it's going to be a long year and a half, if this is what God is willing for us. And, of course, I have to be at Bakemark as if I'm NOT leaving, they cannot know. Without my current wages, Denny & I won't be able to save up to pay for school.
I am excited about it - and I hope that God allows it to happen, but whatever happens, I know He will take care of us.
And another thing I've learned - my husband was created for me! He is SO supportive and his heart is so huge. He wants nothing more than for me to be happy and in God's will. A decision like the one we've made is hard enough to make for one person, but this will now affect my husband and our first two years of marriage. But, his heart is set on what God wants and he's willing to support me in this, no matter what it means we have to sacrafice. It's so unreal that I have married the perfect man for me. It is far better than I could have imagined. I love him with all my heart and I know that I can do all things because Christ is in me and Christ can do all things, and I have a wonderful husband standing beside me!
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